Monster
by Hellesbelles
Summary: 'I am a monster'. My 1st fanfic, so please don't be too harsh. Italics are Draco, normal is Hermione.


Monster

_I could feel it, feel the beast that was raging through me, fighting to be released. I could feel the desire: the hunger to hunt, to feed, to feel the warmth of that ruby liquid flow down my throat. I wouldn't be able to suppress it much longer. I shouldn't have left it this long. I would have to feed, feed or die. I have to prove this instinct wrong, I can't be a monster. Even if either choice kills me. Even if I can't go back to who I was before._

I always wondered about the forest, especially after Ron and Harry's adventure there in second year. Although the few times I mentioned my thoughts, they were strongly opposed to the ideas, so I quickly learned to keep it to myself. I longed to walk through the maze of tree trunks, to feel the warmth of the dappled sunlight on my face, to hear the soft crunch of leaves below my feet. It taunted me, from my view from the castle. But the danger of the forest is common knowledge; those who enter are rarely seen alive again; hence its name, the forbidden forest. But over time, warnings begin to lose their meaning, especially if there is no proof. And as no one dared enter the forest, no one went missing, never to be seen again. So this, and my curious nature, is why I found myself standing at the edge of the tree line, out of view of Hagrid's hut waiting for the opportune moment to slip into the shadows and explore. I knew no one would worry while I was gone. I was well known for wondering off but I always came back. I was confident this time would be the same.

It was just like I imagined. The sunlight, the maze of trees, everything. I could be anywhere and everywhere, and with anyone. I could almost feel the magic of this place; feel the lure of a fairy tale. You could easily imagine anything here, any event from any story ever thought of. The only thing that seemed off was the silence. It was like there was tension in the air, like the first time I wondered off. For the first time, I felt a shiver of fear run through me. That wasn't a pleasant experience, and it was the first of many. But then something changed. There was no longer a silence that became heavier with every passing moment. I could hear the breeze rustling the leaves high above my head and beneath my feet. I could hear the birds swooping through the air, brushing past branches, making them creek. The rush of a small stream somewhere off to my left. It was like my surroundings had adjusted to what I thought they should be like, to what would make me more comfortable. But that would be impossible; a forest can't be able to do that. Nothing can. I must just be overreacting to my new surroundings. That's it, just me being me. Everything's normal.

_Suddenly, I felt a change. The forest was changing again-someone new was here. Of all times to be curious, this was the worst. For them, this would be fatal. I could feel the shooting pains in my jaws. My eyesight began to blur. I could feel the beast getting closer to the surface. Their scent drifted towards me, almost enveloping me. Spicy and strong, yet with surprisingly delicate undertones, both bitter and sweet. definitely feminine. Harder to resist. But it was also strangely familiar. I felt the sudden sharpening of my senses and the ripping of my flesh where my fangs immerged. But no blood was drawn. I could feel the craving growing. There was no going back now. Fate was set._

I decided to venture further in, towards the sound on the stream. I was starting to feel thirsty and there would probably be some kind of plant or berry I could eat. As I walked in the direction of the stream, the trees began to get closer together, like I was being caged. But I dismissed this as another figment of my imagination. It's so they are closer to the stream, I kept telling myself. Like I needed reassuring. I don't know why.

_I can feel her coming closer; her heart beat is clear and strong. My mouth begins to water at the thought. I begin to stretch my muscles, preparing for the hunt. Somehow the beast is telling me she will run - it seems to like the idea. I can feel the other half of me screaming, begging me not to embrace the beast. But it is to strong; I'm too far gone to stop now. I leave the confines of my shelter. The hunt has begun._

I hear a snap and I freeze. Everything has fallen silent again, like its holding its breath; waiting for something to strike. Tension fills the air. Fear and adrenaline fill my veins. Everything feels heavier, like time has been slowed down. I can hear a voice in the back of my head, telling me it was a bad idea to come here, that I should turn, run and never look back. But another voice is goading my curiosity, how will you ever find anything out if you always run away. I am also known for that, running away. It's not a good thing to be known for; people treat you like your worse than you are to the point where you start to believe it yourself, until in turn, that's what you ultimately become. But apparently, to the annoyance of some, my curiosity seems to combat thins peer-pressure affect. I don't see what's so wrong about that. Another reason why they won't worry so much. It scares them that I'm different so me being gone would be for the better.

_There is another shift, this time in the girl herself. The beast in me is disappointed; she no longer seems to be a runner. She's stopped; she must have reached a clearing or something. I can't believe she's stopped, can't she feel the danger in the air. I feel like yelling at her, telling her to run, run away from me and back to the town she came from. To save herself. Now I understand the want for a runner. To lead me to something better than a single morsel. I can almost hear the beast purring at the mar thought. Then I realise it's me purring; and that she is so close now she can probably hear._

When the purring begins I turn to stone. I thought I was being as still as possible when I froze. But now my body is fighting every single instinct, including breathing.

_I feel her stiffen. I can tell I won't have to wait much longer. She won't be able to lead me to the town; it doesn't matter. Her search party will do that for her._

I can feel the presence of a beast, I don't know why I didn't notice it before.

_She knows I'm here_

This is what we were warned about

_It's time to strike_

It's not fair

_Get ready_

It's not my fault

_Set_

I don't want to die

_Go_

_I spring out of the shadows, knocking her to the floor. She lets loose a scream, but she doesn't try to flee._

Something leaps out at me, and knocks me to the floor. I scream, but I don't run. I'm tired of running.

_My fangs find her neck. I position them just above her collar bone, on the softest part of her neck. But before I sink home I look into her eyes. And although I see fear, I also see a sliver of relief, and confusion at what I am._

I can see now that it is a he, or at least once was a he. He seems to position his mouth over my neck, and in a flash of moonlight I see his fangs. Moonlight, I always loved the night, especially at full moon. It comforts me. He stares at me. He seems familiar, like I've seen him in a picture or something. But no name comes to mind.

_She seems familiar, but I can't name her. I knew the name of everyone I knew. I can't have known her; she must just look similar. The beast is impatient. I don't have time for idle thoughts. I let the beast in fully. I surrender control._

After what seems like forever, his fangs sink into my neck. At first, there is a burning sensation, but that soon fades to a dull ache. I feel myself ebbing away. I don't mind so much anymore. It could have been worst. There are worse ways to die…

_After I finally sink my fangs into her throat, she quickly falls unconscious. At first, I pace myself, but the more blood I get, the more I want. The beast loses control, and so do I; we are one._

_Soon, too soon the blood stops flowing. Disgusted at the interruption of my meal, I toss her body to the ground. I study her. She could have been beautiful, had a life, a family. But I took that away from her. I turn the disgust towards myself. I became what I swore never to become. I'm just like my father, my aunt, and all of the other deatheaters; like Him. I am a monster. And I can never change._


End file.
